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[23 Sep 2006|07:13pm] |
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
I let go
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
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[22 Sep 2006|02:49am] |
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*sigh*
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| FRIENDS ONLY |
[13 Sep 2006|10:35pm] |
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Viktor and I are on a break. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a wreck of a person. I should probably just stop dating people all together. He is furious with me about Harry and rightfully so. He's been nothing but perfect to me and I do something like this. I just want to drink until I can't feel anything anymore. You'd think someone like me... an auror, a Ravenclaw... I'd know better. But I don't. I just don't understand what's so wrong with me. It's probably just everything.
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[08 Sep 2006|01:14am] |
I had everything and I messed it up.
As per usual.
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[21 Aug 2006|07:53pm] |
I wonder if I might have never-ending. These past few weeks with Viktor have been absolutely amazing.
( PRIVATE )
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[01 Aug 2006|12:29am] |
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I'm tired of fleeting and I want never-ending.
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[28 May 2006|03:01pm] |
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Chris and I are DEFINITELY over. He's a lying, cheating git.
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[10 Apr 2006|01:37am] |
I'm finally going to take my auror test. I've been taking some time off since... everything.
I haven't seen Chris since it all happened. I'm assuming he's fine without me which stings. I'm also leaving this post unlocked so anyone can see it. I don't care anymore.
I'm not sure I believe in love anymore. Why would anyone put themself out there just to get hurt. It's depressing on so many levels. I was better off before Draco I fell in love with anyone.
Viktor... Thanks.
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[05 Apr 2006|02:09am] |
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I'm lost. Completely lost.
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[26 Feb 2006|09:29pm] |
So Viktor was right. I should've gotten out before this. I should've realized what was going on. Chris has been cheating on me with Su at least twice that he's told me. I don't even need to know anything more than that. I never thought...
Fuck you, Su. If you even read this. You've been a horrible friend and now you've just secured a spot as an enemy.
I don't know what I'm going to do anyway. Fuck. I deserve better than that.
Why does everyone cheat on me? What is it about me? What do or don't I do?
( PRIVATE )
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[12 Feb 2006|01:22pm] |
Chris and I have been spending more time together recently. We're trying to get back what we had. Apparently, it was just that he was stressed out about Quidditch with tryouts. It's been really nice having him around more. I miss him when he's gone. It's tough being alone in the flat anymore. I've grown used to having him here.
I'll be done my training in a weeks time. I'll officially be an auror. I can't believe I'm actually done. I'm so excited and scared.
( PRIVATE TO DRACO )
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[21 Jan 2006|12:11pm] |
( PRIVATE )
Can't wait til this weekend, Pen! OWL ME!
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| Something light hearted... stolen from Lavender! |
[15 Jan 2006|03:12am] |
Write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.
Besides the numbers 1 and 2, write any two numbers you want.
Beside 3 and 7 write down the names of members of the opposite sex.
In the 4th, 5th, and 6th write anyone's name.
Write down four song titles in spots 8-11
And then make a wish!
1. 7
2. 3
3. Adrian
4. Chris
5. Katie
6. Remus
7. Draco
8. "Iris"
9. "Don't Forget About Us"
10. "Lady in Red"
11. "The Trouble with Love is"
You must tell the # in space 2 people about this game in the # in space 1 days.
The person in space 3 is the one you love.
The person in 7 is the one you like, but can't work out.
You care most about the person you put in 4.
The person in 5 is the one you who knows you very well.
The person in 6 is your lucky star.
The song in 8 is the song that matches the person in 3.
The song in 9 is the song for the person in 7.
The song in 10 is the song that tells the most about you.
And the song in 11 tells how you feel about your life.
That's strange.
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[13 Jan 2006|04:48am] |
I'm dating Chris. He's amazing.
( PRIVATE TO ADRIAN )
( PRIVATE TO DRACO )
Can you make the world disappear?
I don't want to see anyone else.
And I can't turn away myself....
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| SOC |
[18 Oct 2005|10:36am] |
I haven't seen Adrian since he ran out on me. I don't know what to do really. I don't want to hurt him but I want to see him. I realize how much that hurts him.
( Private to Adrian )
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| SOC |
[19 Sep 2005|01:17pm] |
I guess part of me was holding out hope that maybe Draco might owl me and tell me he'd made a huge mistake. He might say that things can be how they were and everything would just fall into place. It's silly the kind of hopes people hold onto. But I'm not doing that anymore. I'm sure Draco has forgotten about me after the horrible girlfriend that I was. I'm sure he hasn't had a hard time moving on. He wouldn't. The truth is, and I need to write this and see this:
Whatever we had is over. He is better off and happier now than he was with me. And I will be that way eventually.
I broke up with Adrian. I need a break from seeing someone exclusively for a while because I need to be sure I can really be with that person. I don't want to hurt someone like that... again. I'm sorry, Adrian, if you see this. Now I have to figure this out on my own.
*sigh*
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| SOC |
[04 Sep 2005|11:30pm] |
( Private )
I've been studying alot recently. I've taken a practical test at training. I'm very excited at how well I'm doing. I had my first meeting with Remus a while ago. It went okay. I learned some interesting things about him. I think it was a good introduction. I'll need him to help me with some hexes next time. I'm hoping maybe I can go with him to fight off something sometime. I guess we'll have to see about that.
I'm not feeling particularly social. *sigh*
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| SOC |
[03 Sep 2005|02:06pm] |
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Chris is moving in with me! I needed a roommate and this works out perfectly. Why not live with your best friend? I can't wait!
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